Body Flotsam Roundup

1. I’m grateful for: As much as I hate my period, at least I’m not having a kid and cleaning up baby vomit

2. Thank you to: Gillette ad executives for finally realizing what kind of guy is sexy after decades of making generic corporate muscle-crap

3. Something loving: Since my first two thoughts had to do with menstruation, vomit, whiskers and crap, I feel I should keep on the topic of body wastes in a sexual context by thanking my boyfriend for still being into me when I wake up in the morning with bad breath and sleep in my eyes